I noticed a tear in the fabric beginning to start; Trying to repair it the edges pulled further apart;

Once noticed and my hand trying to repair; the more that I tried to fix it the larger the gap flared;

Tried to sew, add tape, and glue; Thought maybe I would ignore it and it would again be new;

No answer seemed to work, no solution for the tear; Should I just ignored it and leave it there?

Fabric torn and restitched will always show a scar; Yet a tear left to run will always go to far.

“Productivity is Progress”

- Author unknown

Ever since I heard that quote it rings in my ears like an annoying fly buzzing my thoughts. That quote has seemed to place a sense of urgency on everything I do. I detest stagnation in both my professional and personal life and I tend to get anxious and annoyed if I do not have a “dragon to slay” and a plan being worked on to slay that dragon. The more I gain a deeper understanding of my moods and thought patterns the more I come back to “Productivity is Progress”.

As long as I can remember I have always had big goals big dreams and the ability to effectively communicate my desire for success. The images in my head of “success” were always a little cloudy, but with each new challenge I found my “success” gaining clarity. There always seemed to be something to work towards, an event, a date, an ideal of what I had in mind for my self and my family. Chasing progress and being the one leading the charge has always seemed easy for me. I was not afraid to leave my comfort zone and do what I though was best or what would ultimately earn “success”.

The fact that I am always on a mission forces those around me to either get on the train or get left at the station. As with any cause that although, they support me, it is not their cause and therefore, it becomes very difficult to keep pace with me. This leaves emptiness within them knowing they have been on my train the whole time. What about their own progress? What about the dragons they want to slay. I feel a great sense of accomplishment knowing I have accomplished things that years before were only dreams. It is only understandable that the other important people in your life want to feel that rush of contentment knowing that they faced the fire and beat their fears, “slayed their dragon”.

Took flight with God’s grace - Soared for a while

With adrenaline in my veins - A parachute on my back

I took my phobia by the reins - My fear I attacked

Now I can rest - I have won

Conquered my fear to free my soul - Jumped into the flames without paying a toll

Walking, (shhh!) walking - Outside my door. Knock, Knock - What has the devil come for?

The knob turning - the lock (click!) - Oh god, save my soul! Praying, praying - Please let me go quick!

Running, running - A hand at my neck. Chocking, chocking - Breathing my last breath.

Why, why? Do you choose me? Voices, voices - “To set you free”

The light, the warmth - I though the devil’s at my door?

“Shhh!” quiet my child leave your body on the floor.

Why do I burn with hate? Why does the devil taught mr from the gate?

What has made me feel so dark inside? What has taken my soul on a hellish ride?

Who controls the darkness of my soul? Who destroys me to fore fill their goal?

Where do I go from here? While the flames control my fear?